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coparenting
April 2009 
Ticka Ticka Ticka BOOM--Father Wanted!
Posted on Mar 26th, 2007
by 
Wren
Wren
Okay; This is a different kind of kid--my youngest, Niabi Pippin Mika!
I am preparing to be a mother:
One of the gifts of my life as a queer child of divorce is that I have learned to separate the concept of romantic love and coparenting. This may seem dark, bitter or sad at first but I really find it very positive and freeing. What I’m saying is that I don’t assume that the person with whom I choose to parent a child will be a permanent life mate or soulmate or lover.
Now I find myself 41 years old and looking for two people simultaneously: a father/coparent of my child, and a life partner, male or female. The two people may be one and that would be shiny, but I am not operating on that assumption.
One reason I don’t assume I’ll find both in one person is my timeline for becoming a mother--Ticka ticka ticka BOOM goes my biological clock! I am recovering from uterine fibroids and should probably try to conceive this year. I’ll dance around the town square if I find love this year but I can’t put my heart on my womb’s schedule. Besides, we all know, no matter how hard we work at our relationships, some romantic love waxes and wanes and that’s just the way of it. Parenting and parental love is forever!
I seek a coparent who shares my green values (vegetarian, etc.,) and will be active in our child’s life. I strongly prefer to deliver and raise my child at Heathcote Community. I can discuss specific thoughts on education, spirituality, diet and lifestyle, etc., one on one. I am attracted to philosophies such as attachment parenting, diaperless baby, etc., but am not dogmatic. I believe in consensus and conflict resolution and feel that I can cooperate with a range of personalities, as long as they operate in the spirit of cooperation, too.
Are you a prospective dad who can embrace coparenting without the assumption of romantic love? Are you willing to pursue a life at/near Heathcote? Are you committed to the pursuit of health and financially stable? Ticka ticka ticka BOOM--I need to hear from you soon, so we can begin getting to know each other!
I am preparing to be a mother:
One of the gifts of my life as a queer child of divorce is that I have learned to separate the concept of romantic love and coparenting. This may seem dark, bitter or sad at first but I really find it very positive and freeing. What I’m saying is that I don’t assume that the person with whom I choose to parent a child will be a permanent life mate or soulmate or lover.
Now I find myself 41 years old and looking for two people simultaneously: a father/coparent of my child, and a life partner, male or female. The two people may be one and that would be shiny, but I am not operating on that assumption.
One reason I don’t assume I’ll find both in one person is my timeline for becoming a mother--Ticka ticka ticka BOOM goes my biological clock! I am recovering from uterine fibroids and should probably try to conceive this year. I’ll dance around the town square if I find love this year but I can’t put my heart on my womb’s schedule. Besides, we all know, no matter how hard we work at our relationships, some romantic love waxes and wanes and that’s just the way of it. Parenting and parental love is forever!
I seek a coparent who shares my green values (vegetarian, etc.,) and will be active in our child’s life. I strongly prefer to deliver and raise my child at Heathcote Community. I can discuss specific thoughts on education, spirituality, diet and lifestyle, etc., one on one. I am attracted to philosophies such as attachment parenting, diaperless baby, etc., but am not dogmatic. I believe in consensus and conflict resolution and feel that I can cooperate with a range of personalities, as long as they operate in the spirit of cooperation, too.
Are you a prospective dad who can embrace coparenting without the assumption of romantic love? Are you willing to pursue a life at/near Heathcote? Are you committed to the pursuit of health and financially stable? Ticka ticka ticka BOOM--I need to hear from you soon, so we can begin getting to know each other!
Access: Public
Wren,
Please make sure that the biological father is younger than 34. There is a very definite male biological clock. So don't believe what you have been taught to believe in school and the media.
Please read the paper I wrote
http://ebdblog.com/paternalage/ and if that doesn't convince you go to my blog. Best of luck with your plans! Les
What a passionate mother, and you're not even a mother to a human yet! I know you have a whole lot of friends to care for at your place but you still have an amazing sense of motherly duty. Hope all goes well my friend!
CC
Thanks! I've seen comments on mainstream sites really cruelly criticizing alternative models like mine. But we all are doing the best we can! In the end, kids care that they're loved, not that their parents were Ward and June Cleaver!
Wren